The power of influence in relationships is extraordinary, but it practically disappears when we try to exercise control and force.
You can influence anyone positively in many ways:
- communicating in the right way.
In negative control we generate stress, frustration and anger. In positive influence the energy flows in a relaxed way with harmony and is not threatening, respecting each one for their specialty and allowing each one to be as they are.
In order to influence positively we need the power of discrimination and judgement in relation to what to say and what to do e.g. when you believe that the other person is the problem; generally the problem is not what others say or do, but rather how you perceive them.
The way that you judge is what creates your negative feelings about them. We have the choice to perceive others as a threat, as a problem, or as an opportunity; an opportunity for learning, for change, for dialogue and understanding. We can choose to have compassion (kindness); to feel that the other is a problem indicates a lack of compassion.